Sometimes, in school, I don’t really feel like a TEENAGE GRRRL. I definitely identify as a female between the ages of 13 and 19, but a lot of the time, teachers make me feel like a sheep. One of many sheep. The sheep are lost and stupid and confused, and it’s the shepherd’s job to care for and protect (i.e., torture and denigrate) their herd (multitude of worthless mutton). Is a sheep acting up? Rein it in! Does that sheepling look too cheery? Give it a research paper! Hell, give it TEN research papers!!

Here’s a first-day-of school-picture of me at my sheep school. I was nervous about my final first day. Sorry if I look sheepish. (lol. Jk.)

This past weekend, I paused my normal sheep activity and was just a n0rmal t33n. Friday night, when all my plans fell through (par usual), I ended up staying up late and watching Monte Carlo with my big brother. You guys, it was amazing. The plot is basically just a bunch of average Texas teens with big dreams who go to Paris only to have Selena Gomez’s character mistaken for a British heiress. They steal a vacation and a multimillion-dollar necklace. Trouble, right? But in the end all is forgiven and nobody pays any consequences, just like in real life. Also, we both drooled over Leighton Meister’s character’s beau like the eighth grade girls we are. But no, really, he’s gorgeous. No one can fight it.

Teenage-girldom continued at the mall (with friendz!), which I don’t think I’ve been to since hanging out at the mall was a thing, when we’d wander around, play 1-2-3-he’s-yours, and get those giant pretzels while we waited for our parents. It’s been a looooooong time. This time around, we were the annoying pesky teens that everyone—myself included—HATES. My friend and I hid behind pillars and shop displays for a solid 15 minutes before our group realized that we were gone. I mean, they knew, but they didn’t acknowledge our tomfoolery until 15 minutes had passed. We made asses of ourselves. But as Maude said to Harold, “Everyone has a right to make an ass of himself.” And so we do. I had the right to be a pesky teen and a total tweenie bopper for a weekend. It was fun, but now it’s back to the herd. Baaaah. ♦