Dear Diary

November 2, 2011

Oh, just your usual discussions of the European sovereign debt crisis and Lady Gaga. Plus, unusually: crushes!

Katherine

The other day I looked into my real-life diary (whoa) and found an account of a conversation between me and the girl who has the locker two down from mine. I was talking about how maybe I was just weird by our school’s standards and that when I graduated I would be normal and THEY would be the freaks.

It’s not that I insist on listening on Fleet Foxes and wearing flannel. In fact, I often unironically listen to Justin Bieber on the radio while wearing a polo or baggy pants. Sometimes I wear both AT THE SAME TIME. It’s just that, as one friend told me, I’m “incapable of taking social cues.” I once started a conversation with someone I had just met by saying that I wanted to have Tina Fey’s surrogate babies or at least get to play Liz Lemon’s awkward love child. Apparently you save those conversations for your friends.

Every year during homecoming season I watch my classmates pair up for the dance. It’s like watching the animals enter the ark. They desperately want to survive. I usually sneak onto the ark alone, hoping that I don’t stand out. In fact, it’s always a partaaayy and I always enjoy myself. But senior year is different. Senior year, the whole grade chooses a theme and dresses up accordingly. This year, the theme was famous couples. It was a giant “screw you” to all us loners. How do you dress as a couple alone? YOU DON’T.

Then it hit me. I would be Gaga. I’m a free bitch, baby. So I went to my senior homecoming alone as Lady Gaga, and I can’t describe to you how much fun it was. I was Mother Monster, I was as free as my hair. I gave a speech at our grade’s uber-fancy dinner as Gaga (verbatim excerpt: “Put your paws up, little monsters, because you were born this way”) and later embarrassed myself on the dance floor. When “Bad Romance” came on, my friends pushed me to the front of the school cafeteria and surrounded me. Unable to escape the growing circle of people, I did what Lady Gaga taught me to do all those nights I spent in my room looking up her videos online. I danced. When the chorus came on, I knew the moves from having watched the video an insane number of times. I made a complete ass of myself. It felt wonderful. Gaga had allowed me briefly to transform my freak status into something enjoyable. Also, I felt stupid and self-conscious. But mostly I felt Gaga. ♦

Page

1 2 3 4

12 Comments

  • Marguerite November 2nd, 2011 7:21 PM

    I could never see Britain without the Queen, like what would happen to their family if Britain went republican… would they just become ordinary people? But She’s So Cute! I love you Elizabeth! You are my queen :D – I love Gaga and Hair! Its one of my favs from her… haha Bad Romance came of at a wedding i was recently at and everyone was looking stupid – hilarious!

  • Ruby B. November 2nd, 2011 7:25 PM

    Oh my gosh! I love this! I have been waiting all day for this and it was totally worth it! At 7 when it didn’t pop up I started freaking out until I refreshed it. I love you, Rookie! <3 And I love Katherine's diary!

    Ruby
    therubylotus.wordpress.com

  • Vikki November 2nd, 2011 7:41 PM

    Fleet Foxes… Oooooooooooooo…

  • I.ila November 2nd, 2011 8:11 PM

    Katherine… At my school you would be by no means weird. anyone who doesn’t listen to different types of music, wear flannel, and occasionally have dance parties wearing odd clothing to Justin Beiber would be termed quite odd, in fact. And nobody, save about 10 people per grade of about 60, has a real partner.

  • emilyelizabeth November 2nd, 2011 8:45 PM

    katherine, you rock!
    dylan, i’m with you on the enthusiasm thing. i told myself i was going to stop pretending to be apathetic and just be as excited about things as i really am.

  • annagracie November 2nd, 2011 8:46 PM

    i love Fleet Foxes…

  • Maddy November 2nd, 2011 9:09 PM

    Dude! That Gaga thing sounds amazing! In a movie you would be surrounded by people cheering you on because your moves (via Gaga) were executed so flawlessly that you were the coolest person alive and you all bonded as sweaty high school friends for one glorious night.

  • jenjencm November 2nd, 2011 9:34 PM

    Dylan: I also kinda have a crush on a guy across the street from me, too! I played hard to get but, don’t do that for too long or else you’ll end up like us. We don’t even talk anymore but, playing hard to get isn’t the whole reason why there’s more to the story. I just wanted to warn you so you don’t end up like us.

  • erin November 2nd, 2011 9:50 PM

    Naomi, you should go to satwcomic.com, which stands for Scandinavia and the World. It’s a comic website by a danish girl, and she has little people (a boy and a girl) for each country, who usually signify the general stereotypes of that country. While she usually does comics about the scandinavian country (just to intrigue you, denmark, who lurvs alcohol, sweden, who has glasses and is secretly gay, norway, who has curly hair and is besties with denmark, finland, who always carries a knife and a scowl, and iceland, who has sparkles. just sayin) she always does stuff about the other countries. In her comics, England is the father of America, Canada, and Australia. They are hilarious, and actually quite educational. I now know an uncommon amount about Scandinavian countries and their people compared to my fellow American youths.
    And I can also totally relate to Katherine’s situation… I didn’t get asked to my homecoming dance cause I’m too creepy and socially awkward :/ but whatevs, it’s partially my fault, since my best guy friend was going to ask me, but then I found out he liked me and freaked out and made my best friend tell him not to ask me. because I am really nice and mature. luckily, things aren’t awkward anymore. well, not that much.

    • Naomi November 3rd, 2011 7:13 PM

      ah! thank you! that is so cool

  • sobrina November 2nd, 2011 9:50 PM

    Dylan, you speak to my soul. I am THE WORST at playing hard to get because I am always so enthused by absolutely everything. And it makes crushing very exciting, but also potentially very embarrassing.

  • julalondon November 3rd, 2011 3:54 PM

    Naomi, this was really great to read. As a european myself (who used to live in england) i kind of feel the same way! Thank you!