Dear Diary

November 16, 2011

Romance! Marriage! Family! God! This week’s diaries take on the big questions.

Dylan

Last week my life was starting to feel like a total teen movie. Well, it would be a pretty boring movie if it were always smooth sailing, right? If everything came easily and there were no obstacles and I always got the boy (by the way, I almost never get the boy) and lived happily ever after, people would hate it and walk out of the theater! Of course, I want everyone to love my movie, so I suppose this bummer has a positive angle.

I had a really nice week hanging out with Crush Boy. He slept over Wednesday night, then the next morning I did my homework—painting color swatches—while he made a birthday card for his band mate. We sprawled out on my floor with paint and markers and worked quietly, playing each other songs and having crafty time. For me, crafty time after sexy time is almost the dreamiest combination available, so I had a pretty sweet day.

The next night, I had a couple of buddies visiting from out of town and crashing in my room. I wanted to show them what my version of Oakland was all about, so we drank whiskey around the space heater after a rainy afternoon stroll, went on a late-night tour of neighborhood bars, and finished the evening at a chicken-and-waffles spot that’s open till 4 AM. Around 1 AM, as I was drunkenly and I’m sure very daintily devouring my chicken and waffle, Crush Boy texted me that he was on his way over. I hadn’t planned to see him that night because with my friends sharing my room, we wouldn’t be able to hook up. The fact that he wanted to see me anyway was endearing enough. The fact that he wanted to see me anyway right after I’d inhaled a giant plate of grease and maple syrup AND that he ended up waiting at my place for us for an hour while my friends and I tried to find a bus home—well that was so endearing that I nearly puked everywhere. Cute → puke! It’s a normal reaction.

While I was thinking (drunkenly) about how sweet Crush Boy was for coming over, I totally forgot that this was the last night I was going to see him until 2012. The next morning he left for Europe for an eight-week tour with his band. And I spent my last night with him drunk on whiskey and fat from an epic fourth meal. Whoops.

I woke up Monday morning knowing he was on a plane to Paris, and missing him a little. I liked having him around, distracting me from my normal frenzied schedule of class, jobs, homework, being broke, and pitiful attempts to feed myself (candy for dinner!!). Now I have to get back to reality some, but I’m going to take it slow. He left me his band’s last record on a tape. I guess I’ll just have to go buy a tape deck to keep me company for the next eight weeks.

At least I can leave you with a bit of good news: my friends and I got the apartment we applied for last week! It’s not as satisfying a distraction as waking up next to your crush, but it’s something nice to fill the void of a crushless December. ♦

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14 Comments

  • moonchild November 16th, 2011 7:25 PM

    This is really great. ILUUUUU KATHERINE! and I want a burrito too.

    http://under-a-bridge.blogspot.com/

  • Juniper November 16th, 2011 7:49 PM

    You know I’ve actually always wondered what it would be like to be a priests kid.
    Thank you! http://marieljuniperberry.blogspot.com/

  • Ophelia November 16th, 2011 7:58 PM

    Burritos. I can relate to this. :)

  • C.M. November 16th, 2011 8:18 PM

    So I know this isn’t the most appropriate venue to express this matter…but is anyone freaking out that the entire Marc Jacobs S/S 12 was just SWIPED from a train?

    • Anaheed November 16th, 2011 8:42 PM

      Whoa, seriously?

      • C.M. November 16th, 2011 9:09 PM

        Mid-tranfer from London to Paris it just vanished! They had to cancel any future press regarding the collection because there was nothing to show! 46 outfits. Gone. It’s like taking the Mona Lisa then WEARING IT.

  • Ruby B. November 16th, 2011 9:20 PM

    Aww, Katherine! That sounds terrible! But don’t let it get to you; she’s obviously not so confident herself if one of her main values is marrying someone else.

    Ruby
    therubylotus.wordpress.com

  • roseinthewild November 17th, 2011 8:19 AM

    I have to say as a 24-year-old the marriage pressure only gets worse. At 17 I could not have been less fussed about marriage, although some of my associates were. Now I am 24 and recently dumped (what an awful word), I feel “on the shelf” and left behind my friends who are engaged or already legally bound. I am in terror of being “too old”… Too old for what though?

    There is so much pressure for relationships to “go somewhere” and this is propagated by almost everyone I know my age. I don’t even know what my own, true, views on marriage and relationships are anymore because I feel swept along by these expectations.

    Other people’s behaviour like that which you experienced never stops either. Well, not up to the age of 24!

    I hope you can detach and not internalise these beliefs. I was rejected and alone and “a freak” for most of secondary (high) school and although I am okay with my individualism now, the fact that no-one else seemed to be okay with it has left me with some very troubling low self-esteem. Which seems to lead to bad boyfriend choices, difficulty in relationships, rejection, being alone and feeling like “a freak”. Who will never get married. Vicious cycle.

  • mangachic November 17th, 2011 4:48 PM

    Naomi’s article was fantastic, it’s heartwarming to hear about a pro-lgbt vicar who thinks his kids have the right to decide their beliefs for themselves. There are all the horrifying stories about religious anti gay programs and the like and it’s uplifting to hear about someone who combines religion with tolerance. Not trying to be stereotypical or critical here, I’m sure that there are a number of Christians are open and accepting of lgbt, but you don’t hear about them as much. Or maybe the majority aren’t accepting, I’m not really sure. Anyways.
    He sounds like a great guy.

    • Naomi November 17th, 2011 7:32 PM

      i completely understand what you’re saying. i think it is a lot different in the uk than the usa actually. and also, you don’t tend to hear about it as often really, as with most good things!

  • back2thepast November 17th, 2011 6:03 PM

    It’s great to have such a great man be your father. I always love Naomi’s articles!!!!

    • Naomi November 17th, 2011 7:33 PM

      thank you!!!! and yes, he is a great great man

  • spiderplant November 21st, 2011 3:51 PM

    i have been slowly totting up the similarities (midlands, countryside, music) but the vicar-dad connection has finally got me. Rookie-sister, we are as one. Love your writing and would love to send you a copy of my old perzine with a cool priest-pa article in it x message back if yah x

  • chaplin December 7th, 2011 1:49 PM

    Someone once told me that I am the type of person who will never date or get married, and I will only attract weirdos. That comment seriously lowered any self confidence I might have had. It hurt even more because I considered this girl to be my friend. I should say though that I stood up for myself and called her a jerk for saying that. Also this girl and I are no longer friends; I decided that she is not a nice person and I don’t need her.