Books + Comics

Literally the Best Thing Ever: Martha Stewart Halloween

When it comes to my favorite holiday, Martha does NOT mess around.

Hello my name is Hazel Cills and I am addicted to Halloween. I love ghouls, ghosts, and goblins. My family owns a collection of Halloween decorations that might seem disturbing to the average American family. I don’t understand, why wouldn’t you want a decapitated zombie-bride’s head hanging in your dining room? My parents had huge Halloween parties that included everything from the classic bobbing for apples to my father’s bursting into the room wearing a Michael Myers mask and running at children. We’re a joyous bunch, that’s for sure, but there is one woman who might be more into Halloween than I am and her name is Martha Stewart!

Martha Stewart is not considered cool. Martha Stewart bakes pies and knits cowl-neck sweaters and gets indicted by the government! She’s not exactly seen as edgy, if you know what I mean? But when it comes to Halloween, this lady knows what’s up. Every October her magazine comes out with a very special Halloween issue, and it is literally the best thing ever for so many reasons!

Did you think your store-bought Halloween decorations were perfect? Throw them out right now, because Martha teaches you how to make your own. Pieces like mirrors with glowing eyes, the head-waiter tray, and this awesome paper shadow will win your spooky little heart over.

The best thing about her magazine is the fact that she gives you patterns for so many of the crafts! My favorites are the pumpkins, but watch out because some of them are meant for skilled artisans with freakish crafting abilities (like Martha Stewart).

The costumes are also adorable and perfect. Although you might not be able to make a lot of them—because chances are you’re not a ridiculously gifted craft goddess like Martha—they are still beautiful to look at! Like this flapper girl or this (literal) beehive hairdo!

And of course there are the delicious recipes, like I Scream Sandwitches (that one is killing me it is so cute) and this haunted house cake. These are the images that keep me up at night, making me whisper into the darkness, “Why is Martha Stewart so awesome?”

When I was an angsty tween I had a Halloween party that was a bit more mature. I told my mom I didn’t want her to hang up all the decorations we owned because that would be dorky. I didn’t want my friends to think I was that serious about the holiday. Now I don’t want to do Halloween without all of them out! The Martha Stewart Halloween issue is an amazing magazine in terms of craftsmanship and creativity, but it also taught me that getting really crazy and going all out for a holiday isn’t a lame thing to do. And neither is liking Martha Stewart because, as you can see, that woman isn’t just a baker/decorator/cook. She’s an artist! I don’t care if people think I’m uncool when I add “Learn how to carve lace designs into pumpkins like Martha” to my list of life goals. Next time someone makes fun of her I’m going to pull out my Best of Martha Stewart: Halloween Handbook and show them how edgy she is. Keep on craftin’, Stewart! ♦

27 Comments

  • marypee22 October 5th, 2011 11:06 PM

    When I saw the MS October Magazine at the supermarket I like flipped out!

  • Mustachefan October 5th, 2011 11:08 PM

    This post speaks my soul.

  • Wednesday Addams October 5th, 2011 11:10 PM

    Love this! Love halloween!

  • angelacantsing October 5th, 2011 11:13 PM

    I knew I wasn’t the only one freaking out over this issue.

  • kookiechoate October 5th, 2011 11:13 PM

    I LOVE MARTHA STEWART!!! She is the most talented crafts person anyone could ever look up to for crafts. I love how she puts things you actually want to do for your parties and stuff!! GO TEAM MARTHA!!! :)

  • sophiew October 5th, 2011 11:35 PM

    i know. exactly. that woman. it’s almost too much for me to take sometimes. everything she does. is so good.

  • Suzette October 5th, 2011 11:45 PM

    Oh my god, when I saw the butterfly-Martha hybrid cover at Barnes and Noble the other day, I was REALLY hoping someone would comment on it.

    Also, fun fact: my dad works with a dude who lives next to Martha Stewart. His dog peed on her once.

    • Anaheed October 6th, 2011 2:11 AM

      I mean, Lady Gaga has nothing on Motha.

  • izzybee October 6th, 2011 1:59 AM

    I love the pictures on the wall and the cake looks yum! x:D

  • Dylan October 6th, 2011 3:32 AM

    My two career ambitions: be the next Lisa Frank. If not, be the next Martha Stewart.

  • Jem October 6th, 2011 3:37 AM

    Did anyone else get Martha Stuart Kids magazine? I have this massive pile in my room and I read it all the time! Craftlife 4eva

  • CariStereo October 6th, 2011 8:04 AM

    I have a collection of several years worth of her Halloween or October issues. One day I am going to go all out and have a huge Halloween party using a ton of the cool ideas she has in these issues.

  • Pommele October 6th, 2011 2:04 PM

    I actually made that cake! Took me two days and really wasn’t all that hard – just time-consuming. Oh, and Martha assumes you know how to make candy, so I had to look it up elsewhere on the net & then it was all good.

    • Hazel October 6th, 2011 5:17 PM

      “Martha assumes you know how to make candy” HAHAHA of course she would she’s literally an alien.

  • Riley October 6th, 2011 3:08 PM

    My mom made me that beehive hairdo (inspired by martha of course) and i was a bee for halloween in fourth grade

  • Pashupati October 6th, 2011 4:00 PM

    I can’t even.
    She sounds totally cool to me!

  • indiegirl864 October 6th, 2011 6:46 PM

    oh my gosh love martha stewart i mean seriously the womans a mad genius! what does she do in her free time for gods sake? how does she come up with some of this stuff? last year she had a hallowween issue with like was it a mummy costume on the frot? i dunno i just remember it was insanely cool! just like martha stewart;)

  • erin October 6th, 2011 6:59 PM

    When I was younger, my mom always had martha magazines lying around the house, and I loved the halloween ones! I once saw this picture of her with like a spider encrusted veil on, and that was it, that year I had to be a spider queen :)

  • erin October 6th, 2011 7:04 PM

    actually, here it is!
    http://www.marthastewart.com/photogallery/martha-stewart-halloween-costumes#slide_12
    as if anyone cares about my halloween nostalgia haha.

  • ayayay October 6th, 2011 9:33 PM

    wooooooaaahhhh

  • elfie October 6th, 2011 11:51 PM

    Marth makes all of my suburban wife/crafty grandma dreams come true <3

  • necroticbird October 7th, 2011 12:12 AM

    Literally, THE BEST thing ever. I read Martha Stewart Halloween like it’s my bible.

  • Izzy October 7th, 2011 10:42 AM

    I never heard of Martha Stewart before, and this is brilliant! I love halloween, but my parents really diasaprove of it, so I’ve never really had the experiance of parties or trick or treating, which is a shame. Last year i dressed in gothic, black, witchy clothes, and shut myself in my bedroom, reading White Crow by Marcus Sedgwick. never heard of it? You MUST check it out.

  • 4foot12 October 7th, 2011 7:55 PM

    HAHAHA Motha, so punny!

    My family makes fun of me for loving/having so much in common with Martha Stewart. Gosh, I don’t have the words to describe how wicked awesome she really is…

  • Lacy October 7th, 2011 10:46 PM

    Last Halloween I threw a themed party entirely out of Martha Stewart’s Halloween issue! I totally went all out on the decorations and costumes and food because her ideas were so cool, but I was kind of embarrassed afterward by how childish it might have seemed. Looking back though, that was the coolest party ever! MARTHA RULES.

  • jenjencm October 15th, 2011 1:59 AM

    Thanks rookie mag you’re always reading my mind. Yesterday I felt like such a dork being so serious about decorating my house for halloween. My friends were making fun of me cuz I was looking at my neighbors (also my cousins) halloween decor. They started cracking up because they said I was so interested in their decor. This article made me feel not so dorky as I did.

  • decemberflower April 17th, 2013 11:49 PM

    Do you have the Martha Stewart halloween ALBUM?!?! It’s literally a full album of like screeching and ghost noises and other fun halloweeny sounds. It always gets ME in the mood.