Fun

Drugs for Children

In honor of Halloween (and Candy Day on Rookie), we bring you candy reviews (the first installment in a continuing series).

Photo by Marie

Violet Crumble (Nestlé)
I’ve been wanting to try a Violet Crumble forever. First of all, what a lovely name! It’s chocolate-covered honeycomb and as delicious as you’d think, but the strange, airy-but-crunchy texture makes me think of the girl who ate drywall on My Strange Addiction. Also, there’s no trace of violet, nor is it purple. How puzzling! My period gives this treat two thumbs up. —Marie

SnoCaps (Nestlé)
Proper way to eat SnoCaps (in a theater—these are movie candies only and don’t taste as good if you are anywhere else): Take them two at a time. Lick the bottom of one and screw them together to make a nonpareil sphere. Put in mouth. Be delighted. Extra enjoyment: pour all the loose tiny white sprinkles into your mouth after box is emptied. Do this during the darkest part of the movie, as it is not exactly ladylike. —Elizabeth

Tim Tam (Arnott’s)
Australia gave us Koala Bears, Heath Ledger, and these cookie/chocolate bar hybrids. The best way to eat a Tim Tam is by doing the “Tim Tam Slam”: bite off both ends, and use the cookie as a straw through which to drink coffee or hot chocolate. For maximum effect, I like to freeze the Tim Tams first. Once you suck the coffee through, the Tim Tam will get all melty and delicious. —Anna

16 Candles
These are yogurt balls that are supposed to taste like birthday cake, but the picture on the box looks a lot more fun than the actual candy. They look like cat doo-doo that’s been sitting in the sun. And the texture was more like stale white powdered mini-doughnuts than like cake. Bummer! —Marie

Chocolate Tootsie Pops (Tootsie Roll Industries)
I went to sleepaway camp for five summers. We weren’t allowed to have candy except when we bought it from “canteen,” which was once a week when they turned the room next to the dining hall into a little candy shop and we were allowed like two things each. I always got two Chocolate Tootsie Pops. The lolli part is sort of … grainy? Does that sound unappealing? It shouldn’t. It’s delishus. It’s a Wonkified mystery to me, really, as to how a hard candy tastes like chocolate, but I just accept it and thank Jeebus it’s in my life. After about 10 minutes the shell is thin enough to crunch thru to the Tootsie Roll insides and then you have a crunch mooshapalooza in your mouth and life is beautiful. Bonus, everyone says that if your wrapper has a Native American shooting a star on it, it’s good luck! —Elizabeth


 
 
Caramel Apple Pops (Tootsie Roll Industries)
These were my favorite candy in high school. I always had one with me. You really can’t go wrong with one of these guys. I’d offer them to boys I liked and they totally fell in love with me ASAP! MORE LIKE LOVE POTION NO. 9 LOLLIPOPS IF YA ASK ME. —Marie
 
Maple fudge
In Canada, the mythical land whence I hail, we love maple. We love it so much we put its leaf on our national flag. It makes sense then that our maple fudge is the bomb. Thomas Candies’ fudge, which is made in my hometown of Ottawa, is just as full of flavour-with-a-u as you would expect. Put a little bit on your tongue and let it slowly melt. Hear that? That’s the sound of your life peaking. Nothing you do from now on will ever surpass eating this fudge. —Anna

Reese’s holiday shapes (Hershey)
I don’t even like candy (I know) and I get excited every fall for the annual run of Reese’s SHAPES. They go like this: pumpkins for Halloween, trees for “holidays,” hearts for Valentine’s, and eggs for Easter. These are so much better than a regular Reese’s cup because the ratio of chocolate to peanut butter is skewed a notch more toward that weirdly dry, grainy, supersalty Reese’s peanut butter, which is the best part of a Reese’s, after all. I eat these all winter long then spend the summer awaiting their glorious return at my local Rite Aid. (Whatever you do, don’t buy the really huge versions, which are gross and kind of baffling.) —Anaheed

Creme Egg Twisted (Cadbury)
I’m a seasonal candy purist. To me, certain sweets taste good only if you eat them at the right time of year: candy corn is for Halloween, candy canes can be consumed in December, and Cadbury Creme Eggs are reserved for spring. But then I discovered the Creme Egg Twisted: traditional chocolate bar in shape, but the creamy fondant inside is pure simulated-egg-y goodness. —Anna

Coconut M&M’s (Mars)
When I opened the bag, I got a strong whiff of the islands. When I took a bite, I saw a vision of myself getting a coconut-oil rubdown by a buff hunk in the tropics. I liked these, but I wouldn’t be able to enjoy more than a few, because the coconut is overpowering and what I imagine eating tanning lotion is like. —Marie

Insect candy (Hotlix)
At the candy store I work at, these bugs (and yes, they are real bugs) tend to be sold only for dares and bets. However, dear Rookie readers, I decided it was my journalistic responsibility to tell you what they taste like. First I tried the Sour Cream & Onion Crick-ettes; they didn’t have much flavor, but the crunch of the cricket’s exoskeleton, combined with its legs getting stuck in my teeth, had me gulping down water. The BBQ Larvets (made from worms) fared better (the fact that there were no limbs involved helped), tasting almost like potato chips. The chocolate-covered worms went down easiest. I’m not sure what the rules are for eating bugs when you are a vegetarian like I am, but I probably won’t be incorporating them into my diet anytime soon. —Anna

Chocolate-covered anything
It is a truth universally acknowledged that sooner or later, everything will be available covered in chocolate. Chocolate-covered gummy bears and Jujubes are new twists on old classics, with combinations that sound wrong but taste so right. Super-sweet candies like chocolate-covered cookie dough and brownie dough are perfect if the only cereal available in your house is the boring bran stuff—popping a few of these babies in will make breakfast more interesting. Chocolate-covered ginger chunks are an acquired taste, but once you get used to them you will crave them like mad. —Anna

35 Comments

  • tellyawhat October 6th, 2011 11:12 PM

    In my day, the Native American shooting a star on your wrapper meant that your next Tootsie Roll Pop was FREEEEE (way better then good luck).

  • Jem October 6th, 2011 11:13 PM

    I ate a whole packet of timtams today! (put it down to me studying for exams-BRAIN FOOD LETS CALL IT) Its a complete and utter lie to call them biscuits when they taste this good!

  • Sunshine October 6th, 2011 11:14 PM

    “My period gives them two thumbs up” had me literally LOLing. Love ya Rookie!

  • Thepunkrocker October 6th, 2011 11:16 PM

    I got sugar high today off of a lot of candy from our vending machine. I love candy day!

  • QuirkyChick13 October 6th, 2011 11:18 PM

    one word: YUM!

  • junebuglove October 6th, 2011 11:25 PM

    Hehe, my favorite candy is peeps. Their bright color/ wacky shapes/ crunchy/ marshmallow-y combo makes me so happy. I am surprised that they don’t gross me out because I ate these things all the time when I was wee.

  • Pashupati October 6th, 2011 11:31 PM

    Once I caught a spider, put it in the freezer, and covered it with micro-waved chocolate before putting it back in the freezer, so that it kept the form of Mrs. Frozen-Spider.
    That was just a little twist on my habitual recipe: micro-waving chocolate, putting it in molds and then in the freezer. Do not let it solidify back outside of a freezer, or the molecular thing-age doesn’t work and it doesn’t feel like almost-cake, but then again it depends on the chocolate and I mostly use Milka.
    (Yeah, laugh as you will, I’ve chocolate flavoured spiders!)

  • Jenny October 7th, 2011 12:02 AM

    Oh man, I’m so bummed that the 16 candles were no good. Cat doo doo is on my brain now. Also, Anna, I’m impressed you ate bugs! Remember when Zach tricked Mr. Belding into eating chocolate covered ants and crickets to make him have to doo-doo instead of be a vigilant principal on Saved by the Bell? I do. Kind of.

  • rhymeswithorange October 7th, 2011 12:03 AM

    YES TO CANDY! & chocolate covered gummi bears FTW!

  • Andrea M. October 7th, 2011 12:04 AM

    None of them for sale in México. Tears all over my keyboard.

  • necroticbird October 7th, 2011 12:08 AM

    I approve of this continuing series!

  • vanessa October 7th, 2011 12:32 AM

    delicious! I gotta get me some of that caramel apple boy bait!

  • pks257 October 7th, 2011 12:59 AM

    Reeses shapes are THE BEST. I cannot adequately express how much I sincerely love them. So much, that one year I went into a Wal Mart around midnight-ish Halloween night (pro-tip people, Most Halloween candy is sold at absurdly low prices at this time, as the store just needs to get rid of it by the morning) and bought several months worth of pumpkin shaped Reeses for like 85% off. That way I always had some Reeses Holiday Shapes on hand. That was a beautiful year.

    • Anaheed October 7th, 2011 1:00 AM

      I have found my soul mate.

  • October 7th, 2011 1:26 AM

    Two words: Wagon Wheel

  • cj575 October 7th, 2011 1:36 AM

    violet crumble is actually a copy of ‘crunchies’ which is in New Zealand and Australia!

  • darksideoftherainbow October 7th, 2011 1:37 AM

    anna, thank you for eating bugs for us. hahaha…gross! i would be tempted to just have a couple of licks of the outside but i don’t know if i could do it! loved this post…nothing makes me feel like a kid again than buying loads of candy <3

  • Marguerite October 7th, 2011 5:42 AM

    I love Creme Eggs! I wait all year for them, oh and don’t forget mini eggs either … still six months to go :(

  • codename.maggie October 7th, 2011 6:57 AM

    Love this post! But I must defend my love for Coconut M&Ms…..I have an addiction to the island treats

  • realitywrites October 7th, 2011 7:53 AM

    Where can one find that Cadbury Creme Twisted? I too am a seasonal candy purist, but that is is my most favorite candy and to have it all year round would be magic!

  • yourenotfunny October 7th, 2011 9:21 AM

    eugh I HATE Sno Caps. Whenever I eat them at the movies I always exit with at least 4 squashed against my pant legs. Go figure.

    But chocolate covered gummi bears are HEAVEN… they sell them at the local farmers market and I can’t get enough.

  • kalika_ma October 7th, 2011 10:32 AM

    Reminds me of the junk food review they did in Sassy one time. Great post, Rookie!!

  • burn-your-flesh October 7th, 2011 10:43 AM

    I’m a vegan so I’m not sure I can eat any of these, though this has reminded me of how much I miss Reese’s

  • Toilets October 7th, 2011 12:09 PM

    Best (edible) thing ever on the whole entire planet: Irn Bru fudge.

    Om nom nom.

  • RockHatesMiriam October 7th, 2011 12:33 PM

    The only one of theese that we have in England are the Creme Egg ones, and personally I don’t like them because they are too sickly. :/
    (sorry about the negative comment, I havent had any candy today)

    http://rockhatesmiriam.blogspot.com

  • catstickers October 7th, 2011 1:31 PM

    its pretty annoying, as you can’t get any of this is england and seeing the coconut m&ms and the violet crumbles kalhdfaklhr 3enkjr h
    WHY.

  • Renatotherescue October 7th, 2011 1:38 PM

    FFFUUU
    i wish i lived in the USA
    the candy in the netherlands is so gross
    an interet friend from the USA once sent me candy from there..
    i was in love !

    this blog makes me jealous! grr

  • glimic October 7th, 2011 2:01 PM

    You are completely and totally right about the Reese’s shapes… buying a gynroumous bag is definitely the way to go, but watch out for the mixed bag. Some are white chocolate covered… NOT as good!

  • aileen October 8th, 2011 11:21 AM

    I’ve never seen violet crumble before! Where does it live?!
    It sounds like a Cadbury’s Crunchie – native to England but conveniently available in a handful of bodegas in New York. When I was little we could never find them anywhere, I had to wait for my Grandmother to make her annual trip home to England to bring me back a box. It never lasted for more than a week and always lead to a crunchie induced coma.

  • Angie Bitchface October 8th, 2011 9:09 PM

    gahhhhh I want candy so badly now. the maple fudge seems the most appealing at the moment.

  • Ginny October 9th, 2011 5:12 PM

    That Violet Crumble sounds delicious.

  • GeometryStudent October 10th, 2011 11:31 PM

    Starburst Jelly Beans=best seasonal candy ever (easter time)

  • anastasia October 12th, 2011 1:07 AM

    I was addicted to maple candy (not fudge, although that’s good, too) from 2nd grade to about my sophomore year in college, when I suddenly got sick of it. I’m starting to crave it again, so that’s good!

    Violet Crumble sounds really lovely, btw.

  • serena October 12th, 2011 12:37 PM

    What the heck now I want to eat all of this. I recently discovered the Double Decker bar in London and decided it was my new favorite candy car. Also, I neeeeeed to know where to get the Creme Egg Twisted.

  • slytherinswift October 16th, 2011 2:32 PM

    The Creme Egg Twisted thing is the only one we can get in England, bucket for my creys.
    Missing America!