Live Through This

Joe Loves Girls

For the readers neither teenage nor girl.

Illustration by Minna

I am a 23-year-old heterosexual male, but I often feel like a 16-year-old girl. And I like that.

I feel that special way when the first chorus hits in Taylor Swift’s “Dear John” or any time I reread the beginning of the chapter in Blake Nelson’s Girl in which Andrea describes learning how to smoke. It’s the same effect I get when I spend too much time on the Teenage Bedroom Tumblr or reread Cory Kennedy blog posts from 2006. I am enamored with adolescent self-discovery in pop culture, specifically what’s often called “girl power.” Boy stuff usually bores me.

I have a few female friends who will never let me forget the rooftop party where three equally tough dudes and I showed cracks in our totally masculine outer-layers by eagerly discussing Rory Gilmore’s love life amongst ourselves. This was years after Gilmore Girls ended.

I saw Justin Bieber’s Never Say Never in 3D. I loved it.

A lot of people in my life—both male and female—doubt the sincerity of my enthusiasm for bratty or lovelorn pop music, women’s colleges, movies about high school or Chloë Sevigny. Some see it as a pose—liking girl things to get girls or fashion blogs to look at pretty faces—but I know my intentions are pure, and even partly academic. There’s no group as interesting to think about, observe and interact with as the American girl, from what you all consume culturally to what you make yourselves.

I know that Weetzie Bat and Heathers are more imaginative and in touch with adolescence than any book or movie for boys I grew up reading or watching. Even those considered messes in popular culture—the Mileys and Lindsays—are interesting to me as more than train wrecks. I appreciate their clothes and confidence, but also their insecurities and what those say about growing up at this time in America—and about fame, femininity and family.

I always related more to the neurotic and unsure Rory Gilmore than to any of the slick guys she went out with. And the energy in Rory’s relationship with her mom is magnetic to me, far more so than the cold way most men relate to one another, on or off of television. I spent many high school psychology classes tapping the girl in front of me on the shoulder and asking her to explain what happened in that week’s episode, not only because it helped me, at 15, speak naturally to a person of the opposite sex, but because I genuinely wanted to know.

I was probably practicing with my subpar punk band when those episodes aired. I thought that’s what boys who didn’t play sports were supposed to do. As I grew into a teenager, I tried to act harder than I was and embrace the popular culture I believed boys were meant to enjoy: if not high school athletics, then guitars, skateboarding, video games and blondes in bathing suits.

The guys and I—best friends, but somewhat distant emotionally, a contradiction I’ve never felt in my friendships with women—were very concerned with seeming authentic while we tried to figure ourselves out. Things that were flashy or aimed at a mainstream audience were thought of as fake, and usually that happened to be girl things. To assert dominance, we put that stuff down. Realness, to us, was thought of as a strict code and meant playing your own instrument, acting like you knew everything and never seeming too emotional. We made mixtapes for girls because we thought it was our job to tell them what to like. Singing well and dancing were thought of as feminine and somehow lesser, although now it’s obvious to me that the talent level involved is the same if not greater than what growling while acting gruff requires.

No Doubt was the first group whose entire career I owned on CD, but I was self-conscious about it. When my dad dropped me off in front of the record store and I came out holding Return of Saturn—its neon cover complete with tubes of lipstick, pink wigs and the planet’s rings resembling a rainbow—I was scared he would think I was gay. The boys I knew didn’t understand my love for a female-fronted band either. “Just a Girl” was the first song I ever learned to play on guitar, but from then on, it was all men—my band mates said the girly stuff had to go if we were going to succeed in high school.

Among the boys, my insecurities were always greater: Did I like the coolest books, movies and music? Was I interested in the right girls? Could I play my instrument well enough? I could never convince them, or therefore myself, that power could be stylish, sexy and vulnerable, like a really good performance by Stevie Nicks or Courtney Love. So I tried to reject that kind of excitement, even when I felt it. To show I was “serious” as a teenager, I would scoff at my mother and sister for buying a copy of US Weekly or a pop record. But now Beyoncé’s 4 is my favorite album of the year (the accompanying YouTube documentary is even better), and if you gave me a who’s-dating-who celeb pop quiz, I would ace it.

Growing up, the ongoing sense of competition among boys served the same purpose as the distortion on our guitars: to cover weakness like blanket. Today I’m happy to be considered giddy, honest and sensitive.

Of course, I recognize the challenges and disadvantages that come with being a girl too. There are examples of discrimination and double-standards at every turn, and outward emotions are still too often looked down on as weak or needy. But I still envy the openness and passion that girls seem to have, and I like to tap into that with old Madonna movies, teen pop stars like Sky Ferreira and YouTube interviews with Kim Gordon.

And so I’m proud to say that my idols in attitude, and my favorites in entertainment, tend to be female. I used to be shy about it and hide my real intentions. I had magazine cutouts of Gwen Stefani on my wall, but I was scared to say why. She was not, as my mom, dad and friends believed, occupying my boyhood fantasies; I just thought she was really, really cool.

Eventually I moved away from the dudes I grew up with. It wasn’t so much that I left them—we all matured, and sometimes I miss pretending to live life like Stand By Me—but leaving the sites of my own early embarrassments and uncertainty allowed me to explore my interests without fear of judgment. The girls in college always let me watch The L Word with them.

The last time I visited where I grew up, I played Speak Now and sang along unabashedly in the car with my guy friends. By the time I left town again, they knew the words too. ♦

77 Comments

  • Sunshine September 9th, 2011 7:10 PM

    Sky Ferreira, Speak Now and Rory Gilmore = three of my MOST favorite things ever.

    A guy who knows the Gilmore girls. I AM SO FREAKING IN LOVE. Lorelai is my muse, the inspiration for the way I live my life.

    You have no idea how much this MADE my day. <3333333

  • fullmetalguitar September 9th, 2011 7:12 PM

    I absolutely love this. One of the reasons why I don’t like the word feminism is because it implies only the women’s side needs to be looked at, but I think the new feminists around now realize that all genders are suffering in some way and should be equal – so I’m really happy you’re speaking out for the boys, and hopefully any boys secretly reading Rookie will see this and feel affirmed <3

  • Marla September 9th, 2011 7:17 PM

    Only a real man can be as honest as you just were. Amazing article!

  • Rita Unicornia September 9th, 2011 7:18 PM

    I felt great reading this… somehow this words are r e l a x i n g . . .
    There’s no problem on loving girl stuff… that’s different in a good way!

    well… I have a blog… I’m 14 but I’m facing a problem… my spelling… my english isn’t perfect, but with those little words that I know I’m doing an international blog…

    http://www.ritahasablog.blogspot.com

  • boyhood September 9th, 2011 7:26 PM

    As this is a site for teenage girls I didn’t really feel that I would relate too much to the content as I’m a teenage boy but this post really did it for me. I mean, everything so far has been great to read but this article really resonated. I’m really glad Joe is writing for rookie. It feels weird to read something and completely relate.

    rookie is so awesome that it’s hard to find the correct words when I want to say something because it can be difficult to write out an honest emotion. and since usually words. are. everything. to me, feeling this way is niiice.

  • stephanie4786 September 9th, 2011 7:26 PM

    Great piece, I love how you wrote something so honest about guys who like so called “girlie” things and how that many guys are some what afraid to show their “girlie” side or even their emotional side. Loved it.

  • Claire September 9th, 2011 7:31 PM

    You are kind of awesome.

    That is all.

  • SoftlyRaining September 9th, 2011 7:36 PM

    Wow, that post was really powerful. I wish that guys were allowed more avenues to be emotionally expressive. It seems like guys get beaten up and shamed and embarrassed into being a certain kind of boy/man, which usually means rejecting anything that has to do with girls/women. I wish there were more guys like you.

  • Maddy September 9th, 2011 8:04 PM

    Yes! I always knew boys were real people with emotions!
    But really, this made me reflect on how interesting and complex the teenage girl is, as a product and in real life.
    I’m quite liking Rookie now, and feel it is more relatable to many teenagers, apparently boys included, than I originally expected because there are things that don’t require in depth knowledge of various counter culture and 70s80s90s00s pop culture references.

  • bufflehead September 9th, 2011 8:30 PM

    You are the shit. I absolutely adore when people don’t fit in boxes; it’s like the most fascinating thing to me.

  • Gabby September 9th, 2011 8:36 PM

    The world needs more Gilmore Girls loving dudes.

  • flupos September 9th, 2011 8:49 PM

    *-*

  • rayano-banano September 9th, 2011 8:59 PM

    I completely relate to this! thanks bro! :D

    Gilmore Girls…ahhh

    As a 22 year old male, I was so happy to see someone (Tavi) share my love for “The Craft”, teen witches in the fall and more recent interests like Twin Peaks. This is the best piece I’ve read here that I could relate to.

  • Mollie September 9th, 2011 9:16 PM

    YES.

  • JJ September 9th, 2011 9:28 PM

    Great post! Very honest and very good. LOVE No Doubt&LOVE The Gilmore Girls!

  • Hazel September 9th, 2011 9:31 PM

    JOE IS AMAZING, I REPEAT: JOE IS AMAZING

  • ahollowname September 9th, 2011 9:33 PM

    It’s great that your willing to admit what so many guys would be scared to, but not all girls like the same things, and classifying certain movies, tv shows, etc. as feminine is sexist. I don’t like Taylor Swift, does that make me masculine? You are fighting male stereotypes while enforcing female. It’s still an insightful and thought-provoking article, but I just had to say my peace. Thank you.

  • Louface September 9th, 2011 9:59 PM

    This is amazing. And so intelligent! I never thought about the whole cultural phenomenon of the teenage girl thats a really cool idea. I love how genuine this is. It’s not super over the top, just honest and thoughtful. Thank you.

  • September 9th, 2011 10:31 PM

    Great! I think it will be this kind of work that’s going to give Rookie’s take on the teenage girl some texture and interest, and really expand the genre’s horizon.

  • mushroom54 September 9th, 2011 11:11 PM

    respect.

  • MarieLucie September 9th, 2011 11:24 PM

    WHY can I not +1 this?

    Joe… can we please be best friends? I grew up as a girl who tried to live Stand By Me as well, and have been slowly learning that that really isn’t necessary–or all that awesome.

  • Marie September 10th, 2011 12:06 AM

    I LOVE THIS SO MUCH JOE

  • Anna F. September 10th, 2011 12:35 AM

    I want to watch Gilmore Girls with Joe now.
    Seasons 2-3 (the Jess episodes) only please.

  • Bren September 10th, 2011 12:48 AM

    Um, okay…SOULMATE.

    Stop reading my diary and looking at my dream boards.

    But seriously, awesome article.
    Very honest, and sweet. :)

  • stellar September 10th, 2011 12:54 AM

    i wish more guys were like u!!!

  • thefawnboy September 10th, 2011 12:58 AM

    honesty is great
    and so are you
    you know I believe if we at some point believe boys are being sexist because they are describing their honest societal/conventional views of ‘female’ than we need to reread what is being said an look more into intentions
    I believe in equality for the girl and boy
    If like minded people stoop by one another, were honest like this , than mayhaps slot more people would feel the ‘need’ to be sexist and perform their social, politically correct role. I mean thewhole idea of female and male becomes a stupid one when we break down the myth and lies about what makes us different.

    So yes I was born with male genitalia, but almost every good friend I’ve ever had was/is a female
    call me asexual , or hermaphrodite
    I’m fine with it
    as long as I’m not just a ‘guy’

    third sex for new world order

  • iWantLovely September 10th, 2011 12:59 AM

    There is hope after all!
    <3Lovely

  • Sofi September 10th, 2011 1:00 AM

    This has to be one of the best articles I’ve read in any magazine, news paper, or blog post ever. Gilmore Girls is my favorite tv show. I have all seven seasons sitting right next to me.

    Marry me?

  • thefawnboy September 10th, 2011 1:04 AM

    ps. Pardon the iPod typos
    If it doesn’t make sense , read the ending

    p.p.s woot to hanging up imagery and admiring females ( audrey Hepburn in my case) for something beyond their ‘female’ attributes, and
    more for their humanity.
    you know being human is so much more relatable than being a gender

  • thumb biter September 10th, 2011 1:22 AM

    Why have I never met guys like you?
    Sometimes the Internet makes me lose hope for humanity but this is a rare occasion. I was so happy to read this, thank you!

  • V September 10th, 2011 1:43 AM

    First of all, hi Joe! It’s so cool that you’re writing for Rookie. I’m very genuinely psyched.

    Now, personal story time: I have to admit when I met you freshman year in Hayden (yes I’m that Vanessa!) I thought you were going to be one of “those” boys, the ones I encountered in high school, the ones who did think it was their job to tell me what to like and to scoff at “girl” stuff and to make me feel like I was less than just for being a girl. I blame the fact that you liked music and everyone I knew in high school who said they “liked music” was kind of a pretentious douche who wanted to yell at me for not reading Pitchfork 24/7. But anyway! Imagine how pleasantly surprised I was to find out not only are you NOT like that but now to see that you have all these amazing thoughts and insights on that trope and HOW you’re not like that and why. I’m always impressed with your writing but this takes the cake. Also, Gilmore Girls for life, done & done.

    @ahollowname, I totally see where you’re coming from–of course not all girls like the same thing, and making certain things “for girls” and other things “for boys” is part of the problem in our society–it’s what makes people like Joe feel bad for buying a No Doubt CD, or people like you feel bad for not liking Taylor Swift, because some greater force has decided you’re “supposed to”–the implication that we can classify likes/dislikes based on gender alone is definitely detrimental to everyone. But, I’d like to suggest that Joe is actually fighting that preconceived notion in this article. He’s not agreeing with the societal norm and saying that all girls HAVE to like these things; he’s exploring the fact that he grew up being told that ONLY girls could like these things, and it sucked because he liked them, too. Then he discovered that wasn’t true, which is great! The whole point is that Taylor Swift or Gilmore Girls or heck, even the color pink, shouldn’t be thought of as girly…I thought Joe did a good job making that point, though I guess it didn’t translate to everyone.

    I really like how respectful you were in your comment though, and I mean that sincerely; it’s so refreshing to read a comment on the internet where the person disagrees with the author but doesn’t feel the need to be an immature jerk. Points to Rookie for inspiring civil debate and kind commenting.

  • V September 10th, 2011 1:43 AM

    I didn’t think I was writing a novel when I wrote that. Oops.

  • Kyle September 10th, 2011 1:52 AM

    I totally relate and agree to everything you just said, I could have written it myself. (I’m a 21 yr old guy.)

  • Sam September 10th, 2011 2:49 AM

    I love this article! I am actually gay though, but I’ve never really felt like I fit into that gay culture I fit much more into a Femminist group of girls.

  • michelle_belle_de_jour September 10th, 2011 5:13 AM

    There are so many guys like you but they don’t like to admit they like girl fronted bands or that they can relate more to the leading ladies in movies. I wish more guys were this open and stop trying to be manly all the time.

  • 42 September 10th, 2011 5:33 AM

    i really like that you are not feeling the pressure to be like “a boy should be” (and this is great!), but i dont like the subliminal (is this the right word? i dont know) picture of a “16-year-old-girl”

    (oh, it’s not subliminal, it’s evident. “I am a 23-year-old heterosexual male, but I often feel !like a 16-year-old girl.!”)

    even if “he’s exploring the fact that he grew up being told that ONLY girls could like these things, and it sucked because he liked them, too.” ahollowname is right: the article is unfortunately “fighting male stereotypes while enforcing female.”

  • Kelli September 10th, 2011 7:39 AM

    This article is great. I’m 23 now, but as a teen I often felt pressure to hide certain things that interested me so that I could appear to be a certain “type” of girl. I thought you couldn’t be into James Joyce AND celebrity gossip. Now I realize that it just makes me well-rounded. The point is: accept yourself!

  • Viv September 10th, 2011 8:27 AM

    I am a 23-year old female who happened upon this site via tumblr, and have just had the privilege of reading your article. I commend you for being so insightful and profound in your message that above all else, to thine own self be true. People of all ages and both genders need to be reminded this from time to time. Do keep up the good work.

  • Diandra September 10th, 2011 8:32 AM

    This is a beautiful piece of writing. Saying this as 31-year-old woman.

  • Kathy September 10th, 2011 10:05 AM

    Thank you Joe for being so honest!

    I agree with Fullmetalguitar. I don’t really like the term “feminist”, because quite a lot of feminists think they only need to fight for women’s rights. Of course, I also think (and as a woman, know) that women face many disadvantages in everyday life, but in my opinion, we should be aiming for equality. It’s no big deal when a girl wears boy clothes, nobody thinks they’re homosexual, but when a guy wears dresses, most people tend to think so.

  • nomis September 10th, 2011 10:14 AM

    Love it. I am a 24 year old male and spent my teenage years as close friends with girls (who automatically thought I was gay for having interests/values similar to theirs) how ridiculous is that!! Any teenage guys out there, don’t feel confined to gender stereotypes…. and don’t let anyone tell you who you are or who to be! Male or female…

  • ReneeRevolution September 10th, 2011 11:04 AM

    Wow. This was incredible. I cannot put into words just how much I enjoyed it.

  • YangHaizi September 10th, 2011 11:07 AM

    A guy who likes Gilmore Girls?!? Please, be my best friend!:)

  • WitchesRave September 10th, 2011 12:48 PM

    Found this soo interesting!
    Usually the “ZOMG WHAT GUYS REALLY THINK” articles in teen mags/sites are about what hairstyle guys most like on girls, blah, blah, blah..

    And from reading this its made me think about the strong stereotypes placed on males and how much more socially accepted it is for a girl to be quirky or creative or just like something d-i-f-f-e-r-e-n-t (gasp)

    Love all the writers on this site btw!!

  • Naomi September 10th, 2011 1:03 PM

    joe, i completely agree on beyonce’s album this year. so good!
    anyway you bring up a good point – i was going to saying “i wish there were more men like you”, but there probably are! they’re just afraid to admit it.

  • Jamie September 10th, 2011 1:42 PM

    stepping up now to be president of the joe fanclub….

  • napalam September 10th, 2011 1:53 PM

    This is why I love the internet. In the days pre-internet I don’t really know of a readily available venue that would have published an article like this one. And if it had been published, how many boys (like the ones who commented on how they related to the article) would have been able to read it without their worry of judgement for buying a “girls” magazine (an issue that relates to the whole focus of your piece!)?

    This article was so well written and it made you think. Not to mention, anyone who likes Gilmore Girls is in my good books.

    keep well

  • terminallytrill September 10th, 2011 3:07 PM

    As a dude that likes to lift weights and make fun of skinny jeans (both because they look stupid and I could never fit in them without making the button a lethal weapon), I’ve always been influenced by Courtney Love, Angela Chase, and Melrose Place > Eddie Vetter, Jordan’s illiterate ass, and Baywatch. Good job, bro.

  • alwaysbeenastorm September 10th, 2011 3:59 PM

    Well…this is pretty much my life. Me, a guy. Funny though, I have always tended to admire women who have an androgynous quality to them. Ingrid Bergman, her daughter Isabella Rossellini, Tilda Swinton, Greta Garbo, Jean Seberg, Audrey Hepburn, Patti Smith, Annie Lennox, fashion designer Coco Chanel. I admire, I aspire to these women in the same ways boys aspired to be like Elvis in the 1950′s. I’ve had my hair cut like Jean’s in Godard’s Breathless, dyed in Ingrid’s beautiful dark greyish blonde, and aspire to, like them, have charm, strength and the courage to always be true to myself. To dare to be unique, to be natural. And, to always try to be original, to always search for new ideas, new ways of seeing the world. To work hard and live fully. I don’t think this is in any way connected or disconnected to their womanhood, but it just captivates me more in them, their lives, their work, than in most males I am aware of, and also admire. I think there is an element that is missing from this discussion, which is that the essence of manhood and womanhood is much more complex, fluid and subtle than its immediate symbols. And, they are both beautiful because of both their differences and similarities, and how elastic those can be.

  • necroticbird September 10th, 2011 4:08 PM

    I love this honesty and sense of self-awareness. You go dude! I think everyone needs a friend like you.

  • Suzanne September 10th, 2011 6:15 PM

    One of the greatest things I’ve ever read in my life, you may be the coolest person ever.

  • conrad September 10th, 2011 10:20 PM

    As a 19 year old guy, this is awesome to read! It’s just too familiar. If only tomgirl was as accepted as tomboy.

  • linnea September 10th, 2011 10:22 PM

    Amazing article. Oh, wait did someone already say that? Well, can’t hurt to say it again :D

    Liking all the comments too, makes me happy that there are others than me that loves this!

    Advertising now: Boy 20+ who likes Gilmore Girls and No Doubt – wanna be my boyfriend? Not just asking you Joe ;)

  • TacoFemme66 September 11th, 2011 1:27 AM

    As a member of the male persuasion, I relate to the 10th power. Love it.

  • gogobionicgirl September 11th, 2011 1:31 AM

    You can watch L word with me anyday!!!

  • Stephanie September 11th, 2011 12:54 PM

    Joe, you are awesome. And I’m sharing this post with my brother who is the one who got me into The Gilmore Girls. I think he will really appreciate it.

  • truefaux September 11th, 2011 2:01 PM

    I’ve always wanted to hear the boy’s side of things, so, thank you, Joe. I thought growing up male was better represented in the movies (for instance, I really want a 400 Blows for girls) but you have a point about stuff like Heathers maybe (because, obviously, Heathers is too exaggerated and unlike real life.) Can’t wait to read more. Thanks, Tavi & Rookie team! All other Joes, throw ya hands up!

  • hylight September 11th, 2011 8:05 PM

    I’m a male in my late 20′s and I grew up in a small town (Texas). Any mention of respect/admiration for anything involving an empowered female would literally ensure you were ostracized or even beaten up by your peers. We were all pretty much raised to love: football, pickup trucks, boats, fishing, etc by our fathers and older brothers. Some of that is perfectly fine, but I’ve got much better things to do on a Sunday afternoon than sit in a boat and get bitten by bugs.

    Women were expected to know their place or risk being considered “Uppity” and out of line! I also didn’t agree with the presumed objectification of women… I was attracted to them and honestly wanted to know what they thought and how they felt… I wondered what their real interests were and how they truly perceived the world.

    After I graduated and moved on… I discovered that I dearly loved art, graphics, fashion, design, and music. In the course of investigating this amazing world, I learned of a girl named “Tavi” and have continually marveled at her exploration of her world, and her immersion in all sorts of offbeat things. I’m am so jealous of her free spirit. If only there had been some Tavi’s around when I grew up! There probably were they just kept it to themselves.

    My wish is that the world would encourage people (male or female) to follow their hearts, interests, and passions… to find and discover whatever there is to find.

  • Livia September 11th, 2011 9:04 PM

    Oh , I want to marry you.

  • Maca September 11th, 2011 10:22 PM

    It’s so nice to have a boy’s opinion, thank you Joe!

  • sethy September 11th, 2011 11:53 PM

    Wow. Just wow. This article is me. I’m completely heterosexual, yet I’d much rather hang out with girls than guys. :) I feel far more of an emotional connection with them, and I’ve always been so dang jealous of their openness and honesty. As a 17-year-old guy, I can definitely tell ya that it’s hard when the definition of “masculinity” is so strictly… well, “guy-ish”. Guys are stereotyped as brash and a little brainless, without much of an intellectual or emotional life. However, in many cases that just isn’t true at all. It doesn’t mean we’re all gay, it just means some of us love feeling and romance, art and intellectualism. I really enjoyed this article, and I’m secretly in love with this website, even though it’s supposed to be for girls… :#) It’s still super useful and the articles are really relatable. Thanks for making my day. :D

  • stephanieie September 12th, 2011 12:00 AM

    Cory Kennedy blog posts from 2006! I was all over that. Now I think I’m going to stay up until 3 a.m. and re-read them all.

  • cpd2nyc September 12th, 2011 12:03 AM

    This is so awesome. thanks for sharing!! I felt what you were saying and agree/understand all of it!(except for maybe the J.Biebs part… haha) The society we live in today with its socially driven gender roles can get so old and tiresome. I love hearing of a fellow guy that not only is also on this site but thinks about women in that way and wants to talk about it. fantastic!

  • LoversSaintsSailors September 12th, 2011 12:23 AM

    Man, I’m all hung up on high school and adolescence, even though it’s over 10 years since I graduated.

    While friends are having babies and buying houses, my stomach still flips when I see Jordan Catalano. I listen to music I liked in high school. I dress pretty similarly too. And I don’t care that I’m the only one of my friends who owns the complete series’ of Degrassi Jnr High, My So Called Life and Freaks & Geeks.

    I think staying true to what I actually like makes me a person that I’m happy to be.

  • divingforreality September 12th, 2011 2:38 AM

    2007 was the end of my life as a child and the start a life for Rory/Alexis.

    I adore how you can associate yourself with the feminine culture.

    I think I’m in love.

  • nina ballerina September 12th, 2011 9:23 AM

    this was amazeballs <3

  • insteadofanelephant September 12th, 2011 1:53 PM

    OMG RORY GILMORE.

    instead of an elephant

  • georgia September 12th, 2011 2:23 PM

    I. Am. In. Love.

    I hate it that most guys don’t think us girls want you to be all “grr” all the time, we do want someone to watch Love Actually with us, and we don’t care that you have a feminine side – in fact, we WANT the feminine side to shine through sometimes!

    I loved this piece and even though I’m a giiirl (duh) and I thought I wouldn’t relate, it was amazing and honest and, well, amazing!

  • Tavi September 12th, 2011 2:24 PM

    joe is justin bieber

  • serena September 12th, 2011 4:59 PM

    ^ I literally laughed out loud at Tavi’s comment.
    Joe, you are me I’m almost positive. Anyone who loves Taylor Swift as much as me and isn’t afraid to say it rules. Also, anyone who has read Girl is already my best friend.

  • posie.rose September 12th, 2011 5:44 PM

    You sound like a seriously cool person, Joe. :) I love this article!

  • Lady Vyntage September 13th, 2011 11:55 PM

    Joe I’m a 24 year girl and I related to everything you said for some reason. Really loved this article.

  • alicethezombie September 14th, 2011 3:37 AM

    If only more men were like you Joe, its about time a heterosexual male wasn’t afraid of his sexuality. You.are.amazing!

  • mosquitolemon September 15th, 2011 10:03 PM

    So I’m a 26 year-old guy (No attacking me for my age! Young at heart, I say!!), and while I have to say thank you for articulating how a LOT of guys feel, I really have to thank you for the bit about having female idols who you aren’t sexually attracted to (or reading fashion magazines, watching America’s Next Top Model, etc. for similar reasons)!

    I like to think that I understand myself really well and that I’m not encumbered by social norms and all that, but it can be a very confusing thing to simply admire certain females when everyone around you (male, female, family, friend!) is like, “Oh, you think she’s hot! I didn’t know she was your type! What kind of nasty things do you want to do to her?!” And it’s like, NOOOOO, can’t I just think she’s cool!?! What do you mean girls aren’t supposed to be cool?! Ughh…

  • Gus559 September 16th, 2011 8:40 AM

    Half of rookie’s readers are now out searching for their very own Mr “I love Gilmore girls but I’m not gay!” lover boy, glancing hopefully at every willowy guy they see in chinos. Are we supposed to pretend that this article’s only merit isn’t its painful novelty? I’m tired of straight guys getting a pat on the back for dabbling in what the marketing machine intends for a predominantly female audience, as though its somewhat of a notable feat for them to have retained their heterosexuality while listening to Britney. The value placed on articles like this, by the rookie reading, black lipstick wearing, american apparel consuming, hair dyeing, pseudo feminist, heteronormative straight girls of the world not only alienates the gay dudes of the world who have openly enjoyed such phenomena as Queen Beyonce for longer than any self satisfied straight dude (without expecting anyone to be interested in this) but also sends out a message to impressionable young teenz that straight guys deserve praise for breaking free from an overly gendered society more than homo guys because they still fuck girls. I think a lot of the stuff in Rookie is fantastic, but don’t think I’ll be paying many more visits if I keep finding this kind of repackaged Seventeen magazine stuff.

  • em.lupin September 16th, 2011 10:12 AM

    This made me smile. :)

    I know a few guys like this, although they’re all a bit less into these things than Joe, and I love when we sing along to Taylor Swift in ridiculous, completely off-pitch voices. (It is, I admit, always done somewhat ironically, but hey- details, details.)

  • Asasia September 16th, 2011 7:22 PM

    This was so cool! I love hearing from a guy that doesn’t follow the guy stereotype of being tough, athletic, and macho, but instead one I can relate to as a girl. You seem awesome. I mean, anyone who blasts Speak Now, loves Gilmore Girls, and stalks Teen Bedroom has to be.